I thought we were over our size zero fixation after Kareena Kapoor went from being not-a-size-zero (She’s big boned and hence can never be) to being further-away-from-being-size-zero. Evidently we’re not. What with books that have women claiming they can’t die for size zero and Katrina Kaif losing the weight she never had in the first place drilling the big ‘0’ deeper into our brains. Well, since everyone has jumped onto the size zero bandwagon I decided I should too. Before I do, a quick note to fellow size zero bandwagoners – Apologies for riding on your high but don’t worry I AM a size zero (unlike most of you) so I won’t take up much space on this bandwagon of yours and chances are you probably won’t even notice me!
Yes, I am a size zero… so while the rest of the world stridently cries out about how hard it is to get there and how unhealthy, desirable/undesirable it is, here I am living the size everyone loves to hate. According to wikipedia, (I am one of those who turns to wikipedia for all of life’s answers- so I’m gonna take what they state as the truth) size zero measurements are in the range of 30-22-32 inches (76-56-81 cm) to 33-25-35 inches (84-64-89 cm). By that measure, I fall somewhere between the range. But thankfully I don’t look sick/skeletal/emaciated/anorexic because I come in just under 5 feet. So not only am I horizontally challenged, I am also vertically challenged. I am someone you would best describe as petite. Let me clarify that I am not so ‘small’ out of choice but rather because of the lack of it. I do not diet or exercise. I eat whatever I please, whenever I please so I would attribute my diminutive proportions to genetics, a high metabolism etc. Now before any of you sigh and say something to the effect of, “Oh you lucky girl!” let me tell you being my size is not all that it’s made out to be. For one, I am always the butt of jokes- some which are funny and some which make me want to cringe only because of the number of times they have been repeated. They range from, “Where do you get clothes your size from- the kids’ section?” to “Size 0 translated in Hindi: Na bum na seena, phir bhi haseena!” For the most part I am sporting enough and laugh along and sometimes even join in the fun but sometimes I feel like punching the other person’s face in simply because some of these people can hardly afford to make jokes at my expense. Why? Well because they’re either ugly or fat or … let’s just say you would not use the words generally associated with pretty or pleasant to describe these individuals!
Not only have I been a source of amusement for people, I have also, on occasion, incurred the wrath of women who are on the heavier side. Let me elaborate. I recently met this woman (who, to me, resembled a blowfish) at a dinner party hosted by a friend. Needless to say, all of us ate till we couldn’t move and the general ensuing discussion had everyone, including the blowfish, complaining about how they had overeaten and how at this rate everyone will be obese very soon. At times like these, I tend to keep my mouth tightly shut because people tend to jump at me if I even mention the word fat in any sentence, in any context. So, while I kept my mouth shut and smiled serenely, the discussion veered towards thin v/s fat and sometime during this, our friend the blowfish turns to me and says, “I hate thin people, I wish they would all just die.” Now I understand my apparent thinness is a cause of envy for her but is it really necessary to wish death upon me just because I’m not large?! I say; if you have such a huge problem with your weight, do something about it! Stop sitting around on your enormous ass, cursing us genetically gifted individuals!
Now while I can take the jibes and nastiness in my stride and while I love being tiny most of the time, there is one thing that I just cannot get over- the fact that I can never find jeans my size. Of course, when I say never it is a bit of an exaggeration, nevertheless it is VERY difficult to find a pair that fits just right. Either the waist is too big or the hips are all wrong and always always the length is a couple meters off. I have been to every store in Bombay looking for something that I will not need to get altered and have come back empty handed and angry every time, save for the ones I found at Benetton once and at French Connection recently. A lot of people tell me I should go to the stores in Bandra that stock jeans sourced from Bangkok but I am not one who likes tacky embellishments on my jeans, thank you very much. So you can understand that when I saw the campaign for the new Levis’ Curve ID range of jeans, I was suitably excited. Finally, I thought, my jean woes are over. I imagined myself running on a beach wearing my perfectly fitted new jeans with the wind in my hair and the music in my ear, a la the girls in the advert… With this vision firmly stamped in my brain, I happily skipped over to the nearest Levis’ store and eagerly asked for a size 24/25 pair. “Sorry ma’am we do not have jeans in that size” comes the reply. With my heart sinking, I desperately ask for a size 26, I’m willing to make a compromise if it means I’ll get a decent pair and there’s always the option of alteration… “The smallest size we have is a size 27 Ma’am” says the sales clerk. I mask my disappointment and walk away, head hanging low, chiding myself for believing in the sham that is advertising. After I recovered from my initial dejection, I got to thinking why everyone wants to be a size they don’t even make clothes for? Do these women aspiring to be size zero really want to waste a substantial amount of time for the rest of their lives over something as trivial as jeans?! I hope not. Really, I’d say there are bigger things to worry about.
Now coming to the final and the most important point of my rant – Men DO NOT find skinny women attractive, they’d much rather you have some curves on you. Every time I’ve put on a few kilos, I have noticed that men immediately start complimenting me. A lot of male friends even went to the extent of saying that now that I’ve put on weight; they think I’m more appealing! When I’m at my usual 40 kilos all I get to hear is- “You do know that men don’t like this, right?” – While eyeing me up and down. But, the minute the weighing scale tips up a few notches, “You’re looking so good! You should put on some more weight!” I think and only this should be the final driving point for everyone aspiring that coveted waif-like figure. If the men don’t like it, who are you doing this for? Isn’t the whole point of our outwardly appearance directed towards the male of the species? Or am I misguided here and it’s just us women competing with ourselves and the impossibly high standards and expectations we have from ourselves? If that be the case, it’s a but pathetic isn’t it? Thoughts anyone?